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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Witty
Humorous
Humility
Regret
Funny
Else
Someone
Life

More quotes by Woody Allen

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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
Woody Allen
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
Woody Allen
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
Woody Allen
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When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.
Woody Allen
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
Woody Allen
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Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
Woody Allen
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Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
Woody Allen
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
Woody Allen
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
Woody Allen
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
Woody Allen
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Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
Woody Allen
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
Woody Allen
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
Woody Allen
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
Woody Allen
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen