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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Else
Someone
Life
Witty
Humorous
Humility
Regret

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
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Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
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To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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Subjectivity is objective.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
Woody Allen
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What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
Woody Allen
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
Woody Allen
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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
Woody Allen
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
Woody Allen