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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Boss
Marriage
Wife
Decision
House
Maker
Makers

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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
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And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.
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When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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