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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Twenties
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Speed
Reading
Russia
Read
Intelligence
Peace
Took
Involves
Funny
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Favourite
War
Humor
Beer
Book
Minutes
Twenty
More quotes by Woody Allen
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
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My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
Woody Allen
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
Woody Allen
The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
Woody Allen
