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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Reading
Russia
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Intelligence
Peace
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War
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Twenty
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More quotes by Woody Allen
That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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I am two with nature.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
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