Quote

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Politics
Funny
Government
Something
Unfortunately
Believe
Witty
Humorous
Watching
Humor

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
Image
Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
Woody Allen
Image
I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Woody Allen
Image
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
Image
Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
Image
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Woody Allen
Image
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Woody Allen
Image
It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
Woody Allen
Image
I have a limitless amount of great music at my disposal and it's very, very pleasurable because when the music goes on the film it's amazing how much it livens up the film and gives it an emotional kick in the pants, sort of.
Woody Allen
Image
You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
Image
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
Woody Allen
Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Image
It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
Woody Allen
Image
I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
Image
People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
Image
I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
Woody Allen
Image
Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
Woody Allen
Image
If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.
Woody Allen
Image
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen
Image
Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.
Woody Allen