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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humor
Thankful
Inspiration
Nose
Funny
Noses
Comes
Milk
Life
Laughed
Laughter
Except
Laughing
More quotes by Woody Allen
I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
Woody Allen
My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now.
Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
Woody Allen
The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
Woody Allen
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
Woody Allen
There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
Woody Allen
I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.
Woody Allen
I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
Woody Allen
The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
Woody Allen
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term demonstration. If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass.
Woody Allen
All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
Woody Allen
I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
Woody Allen
Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
Woody Allen
