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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Laughed
Laughter
Except
Laughing
Humor
Thankful
Inspiration
Nose
Funny
Noses
Comes
Milk
More quotes by Woody Allen
Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
Woody Allen
A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
Woody Allen
People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Woody Allen
The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody Allen
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen
I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.
Woody Allen
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
Woody Allen
One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
Woody Allen
Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?
Woody Allen
I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
Woody Allen
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen
If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
Woody Allen
[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
Woody Allen
