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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Except
Laughing
Humor
Thankful
Inspiration
Nose
Funny
Noses
Comes
Milk
Life
Laughed
Laughter
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
Woody Allen
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen
I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
Woody Allen
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen
Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
Woody Allen
There's something about my films they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.
Woody Allen
I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
Woody Allen
I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
Woody Allen
Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?
Woody Allen
When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
Woody Allen
I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
Woody Allen
Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
Woody Allen
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
Woody Allen
There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Woody Allen
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
Woody Allen
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
