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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humor
Goons
Funny
Witty
Fear
Humorous
Inspirational
Clever
Death
Jokes
Happens
Grief
Reality
Dying
Life
Afraid
More quotes by Woody Allen
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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You can't ride two horses with one behind.
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
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He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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