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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Something
Way
Gambling
Sure
Nothing

More quotes by Wilson Mizner

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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
Wilson Mizner
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
Wilson Mizner
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
Wilson Mizner
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
Wilson Mizner