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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Nothing
Something
Way
Gambling
Sure

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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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