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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Nothing
Something
Way
Gambling
Sure

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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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