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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Way
Gambling
Sure
Nothing
Something

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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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