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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Bird
Birth
Gives
Poor
Giving
Real
Stork
Storks
Tumble

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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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