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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
People
Silverware
Count
Dinner
Longer
Getting
Come

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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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