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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Protestants
Priest
Minister
Priests
Ministers
Bets
Hedge
Rabbi
Protestant

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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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