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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Greed
Human
Humans
Heart
Ailment
Ailments
Pitiful

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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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