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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Rush
Town
Towns
Deeds
Across
Saws
Good
Never
Deed

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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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