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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Mouse
Rats
Mice
Studying
Sarcastic
Study

More quotes by Wilson Mizner

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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
Wilson Mizner
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
Wilson Mizner
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
Wilson Mizner
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
Wilson Mizner
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
Wilson Mizner
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Wilson Mizner
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Wilson Mizner
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
Wilson Mizner
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
Wilson Mizner
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God help those who do not help themselves.
Wilson Mizner
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
Wilson Mizner
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
Wilson Mizner
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
Wilson Mizner
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
Wilson Mizner
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
Wilson Mizner
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
Wilson Mizner
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner