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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Studying
Sarcastic
Study
Mouse
Rats
Mice

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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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