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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
Wilson Mizner
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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Knew
Ever
Rubber
Men
Soup
Steal
Sarcastic
Pockets
Stealing
Hatred
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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