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Failure has gone to his head.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Work
Sarcastic
Failure
Head
Gone

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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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