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Failure has gone to his head.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Sarcastic
Failure
Head
Gone
Work

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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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