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Failure has gone to his head.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Failure
Head
Gone
Work
Sarcastic

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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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