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He's a trellis for varicose veins.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Veins
Sarcastic

More quotes by Wilson Mizner

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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
Wilson Mizner
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
Wilson Mizner
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
Wilson Mizner
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
Wilson Mizner
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
Wilson Mizner