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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
Wilson Mizner
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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Veins
Sarcastic
More quotes by Wilson Mizner
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner
The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Wilson Mizner
Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner
There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
Wilson Mizner
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
Wilson Mizner
Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
Wilson Mizner
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
Wilson Mizner
It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
Wilson Mizner
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
Wilson Mizner
I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
Wilson Mizner
I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
Wilson Mizner