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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
Wilson Mizner
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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Veins
Sarcastic
More quotes by Wilson Mizner
Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner
Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
Wilson Mizner
The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
Wilson Mizner
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Wilson Mizner
Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
Wilson Mizner
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner
It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
Wilson Mizner
I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
Wilson Mizner
The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
Wilson Mizner
The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
Wilson Mizner
Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
Wilson Mizner
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
Wilson Mizner
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Wilson Mizner
The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
Wilson Mizner
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
Wilson Mizner
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner
