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He's a trellis for varicose veins.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Veins
Sarcastic

More quotes by Wilson Mizner

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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
Wilson Mizner
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
Wilson Mizner
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
Wilson Mizner
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Wilson Mizner