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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Gents
Wakes
Asleep
Hasn
Finds
Success

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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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