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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Gents
Wakes
Asleep
Hasn
Finds
Success

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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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