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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Welcome
Ears
Atheism
Tried
Death
Life

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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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