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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Halfway
Clock
Bird
Cuckoo
Cuckoos

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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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