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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Cuckoo
Cuckoos
Halfway
Clock
Bird

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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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