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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Count
Profit
Gratitude
Grateful
Motivational
Thankfulness
Show
Thanksgiving
Shows
Thankful
Always
Assets

More quotes by Wilson Mizner

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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
Wilson Mizner
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
Wilson Mizner
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
Wilson Mizner
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
Wilson Mizner
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
Wilson Mizner
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
Wilson Mizner
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
Wilson Mizner
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
Wilson Mizner