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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Profit
Gratitude
Grateful
Motivational
Thankfulness
Show
Thanksgiving
Shows
Thankful
Always
Assets
Count

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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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