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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Convinced
Fortune
Leave
Ever
Ample
Lawyers
Lawyer
Contact

More quotes by Wilson Mizner

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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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