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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Convinced
Fortune
Leave
Ever
Ample
Lawyers
Lawyer
Contact

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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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