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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Contact
Convinced
Fortune
Leave
Ever
Ample
Lawyers
Lawyer

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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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