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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Brazen
Induce
Immediate
Sentence
Sentences
Begins
Lying
Read

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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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