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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Carlton
Ritz
Sewer
Sewers
Service
Hollywood

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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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