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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Carlton
Ritz
Sewer
Sewers
Service
Hollywood

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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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