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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Hollywood
Carlton
Ritz
Sewer
Sewers
Service

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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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