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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Service
Hollywood
Carlton
Ritz
Sewer
Sewers

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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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