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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Carlton
Ritz
Sewer
Sewers
Service
Hollywood

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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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