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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Carlton
Ritz
Sewer
Sewers
Service
Hollywood

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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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Easy street is a blind alley.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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