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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Fellows
Judge
Laughter
Judging
Usually
Laughing
Laughs
Judgement
Fellow

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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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