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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Embarrassment
Lady
Bed
Born

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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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