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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Squares
Miles
Guy
Rather
Mile
Square

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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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