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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Skeleton
Skeletons
Closet
Closets
Terribly
Restless
Makes
Something

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The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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