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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner
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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Keep
Give
Best
Giving
Friendship
Way
Humor
Friends
Funny
Away
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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