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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Funny
Away
Keep
Give
Best
Giving
Friendship
Way
Humor
Friends

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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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