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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Gamble
Gambling
Sure
Getting
Nothing
Something
Way

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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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If you steal from one author it's plagiarism if you steal from many it's research.
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