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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Getting
Nothing
Something
Way
Gamble
Gambling
Sure

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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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