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Don't talk about yourself it will be done when you leave.

Wilson Mizner

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Wilson Mizner
Age: 56 †
Born: 1876
Born: May 19
Died: 1933
Died: April 3
Playwright
Screenwriter
Writer
Benicia
California
Humble
Humility
Leave
Talk
Done
Narcissism
Egotism
Ego

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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
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He's a trellis for varicose veins.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch Tact is the clever footwork.
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