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Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Thinking
Rope
Humor
Hurt
Funny
Might
Come
Play
Think

More quotes by Will Rogers

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I don't know what humor is.
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Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.
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The sales tax is the best and most equitable tax. The gasoline tax, which is nothing but a sales tax, has proven painless, productive and punitive. Everything we buy should have its equal proportion of tax, outside of cheap food and cheap clothes.
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Farmers have more Associations, and Bureaus, and Clubs, than they have pitchforks.
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See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.
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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
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The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
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This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.
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I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
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There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.
Will Rogers
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Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?
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Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more.
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There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.
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Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm.
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Senators are a never-ending source of amusement, amazement, and discouragement.
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If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Will Rogers
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It wasn't what we needed then that was hurting us, it was what we was paying for that we had already used up. The country was just buying gasoline for a leaky tank. Everything was going into a gopher hole and you couldent see where you was going to get any of it back.
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It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
Will Rogers
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Will Rogers
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Will Rogers