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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Never
Railroads
Testimony
Smart
Modern
Understand
Two
Timetable
Care
Timetables
Things
Railroad

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A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.
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I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.
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The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds.
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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.
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In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.
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Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington.
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Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school.
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I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from.
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When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
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America has the best politicians money can buy.
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A successful outcome shows what hard work, perseverance and taking advantage of your opportunities will do for you.
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Harvard students have completed more English courses and less forward passes than any school in this generation.
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If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it'll change.
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The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent.
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Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.
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Just because it's common sense, doesn't mean it's common practice.
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George Bernard Shaw of England stopped over just long enough to make one speech in Bombay, India, started a war and 100 Indians killed each other. That's what I call good speech-making. The only enthusiasm any of our speakers can rouse is a demand to kill the speaker.
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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
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