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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Never
Railroads
Testimony
Smart
Modern
Understand
Two
Timetable
Care
Timetables
Things
Railroad

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A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
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Bankers are likeable rascals. Now that we are all wise to 'em, it's been shown that they don't know any more about finances than the rest of us know about our businesses... which has proved to be nothing.
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In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important.
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I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with.
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You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?
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A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
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Every time we have an election, we get in worse men and the country keeps right on going. Times have proven only one thing and that is you can't ruin this country even with politics.
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It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of.
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Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
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I never met a man that I didn't like.
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The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
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This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great.
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The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
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There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.
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We Americans think we are pretty good! We want to build a house, we cut down some trees. We want to build a fire, we dig a little coal. But when we run out of all these things, then we will find out just how good we really are.
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We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
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Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.
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I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names.
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Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse. It must be to his bravery, you can tell it's not to his horsemanship.
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