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There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers
Age: 55 †
Born: 1879
Born: November 4
Died: 1935
Died: August 15
Actor
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Oologah
Oklahoma
William Penn Adair Rogers
William Rogers
Understand
Two
Timetable
Care
Timetables
Things
Railroad
Never
Railroads
Testimony
Smart
Modern

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I belong to no organized political body. I am a Democrat.
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The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.
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Every land or property owner in America would be tickled to death to pay 45 per cent of his profits, if he didn't have to pay anything if he didn't make it.
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Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!
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The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
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They are having quite an argument over Treasury Secretary Mellon's Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon wants to cut the surtax on the rich, and leave it as is on the poor, as there is more poor than rich. I suppose the majority will win.
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Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
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One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.
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An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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They are each good when they are out, and each bad when they are in.
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All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.
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The US is safest when Congress is in recess.
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When you figure it right down, none of us are in a really essential business but the farmer, and he raises so much that even his business is partly non-essential.
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